I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
