How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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