that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
