Kiss
Puke
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
