And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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