Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
