He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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