what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
