My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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