you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
