So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
my poor anus
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
