real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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