dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
