Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
