Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
