you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
