I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
