You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
