we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
