I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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