instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
