I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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