So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
God I need to hump something, right now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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