would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm like, not good at living.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
