I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
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And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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