what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
