But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
