Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
only if we run a train.
done.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize