Porn is love you can see.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
