You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
