So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
