Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Girls should come with a carfax report
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
