my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
