I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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