Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
