is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
