matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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