Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
