Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
