is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
