I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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