i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
