Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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