Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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