it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
