please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
