I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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