For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
