The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
