My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
