Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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