Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
