it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
