I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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