I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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