I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
