talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
