she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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