She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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