Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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