There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
