lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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